Hah I’d love to read that! I can’t picture it! Those are the best pairs!
As for the closet, I’ll say that’s Elena’s. Or Tseng’s, tbf. In that respect I think they’re made for each other. I could also see Rude keeping his that tidy. ~unexpected love triangle~
Who on earth owns six pairs of identical white shoes?
The only thing I can think of is the wardrobe belonging to the Ryan Reynold’s character in Free Guy - Guy, that was his name.
I have a headcanon that Reno owns almost nothing and is surprisingly tidy as a result (also he employs a cleaning lady). He would definitely have six pairs of his favourite jeans and six identical casual white shirts.
(yeah I know he’s wearing dark ones in literally that picture but he OWNS more!)
This highly-functional piece of cupboarding:
Actually, thinking about it, maybe that’s also Rufus.
Hmm… this makes me think of the Chocobo Sage.
Surely that’s a piece of furniture inside the Hell House?
My original thought was that it’s an unused enemy from inside one of the conference rooms. It lurks in dark corners and it has three attacks. Its initial attack is “Someone Left the Drawer Open”, when it trips you up by suddenly shooting its bottom drawer out; “Filing Cabinet”, when all the drawers fly open and a storm of paper whizzes through the air, slicing off your HP with paper cuts; and “Work Expands To Fill the Time Allotted To It”: the accordion middle inflates and the thing bends forward at high speed and head butts you. I think this enemy is called “Office Pest”.
Man, you guys are much better people than me. I’d settled on: ‘someone in sector 7’.
I absolutely love this. For some reason I’m picturing it announcing those attacks in a booming voice as it goes.
Yes but Rufus’s wardrobe units don’t come from IKEA.
I think for how I write him, IKEA perfectly matches his personality but it’s one of those things he’s never considered because people around him have always talked about it in disparaging tones. One day, when he’s in his late 40s, he’ll discover it and let out a delighted cry of “HAUGSVÄR!”.
That made me laugh out loud.
And I think I might agree with your interpretation.
Whatever else he is, I don’t see Rufus as a snob.
By the way my entire house is furnished from IKEA.
Same! I can’t say I’d mind some beautiful fancy hardwood but I doubt I’d ever choose it in the moment because of the price. And I like putting Ikea together.
Another: this practical bed:
Amazing! 
XD!
I’m struggling with this one. It makes me think “someone who cries themselves to sleep,” but none of the characters who I can see doing that would buy this crazy bed. Hm…
Edit: IS THIS VINCENT’S BED
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN
THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL
Though tbh I was thinking Sephiroth for the bed.
A chair!
So a family heirloom, then. :P (though tbh I don’t headcanon Vincent as Sephiroth’s father most of the time).
The face makes me think Mayor Domino, because he’d both enjoy having his ass kissed all day long, and be self-aware enough to laugh about it. But then the rest of it looks like something out of Nibelheim or Kalm. I’m gonna say he’s also furnished his home very differently from his office. Maybe he grew up below plate, and everything in his home is a wacky and meticulously restored pre-Shinra Midgar antique, in a subtle middle finger at his employer.
Whose is this?
Sephiroth’s!
I’m just gonna say everything is Sephiroth’s, no matter how implausible.
(I’ll have to think it over…)
Turns out he got that SOLDIER job the regular way: with a job interview.
I love it!
That face chair is so hideous I can’t think who would have it. It’s in bad taste, like everything in Corneo’s mansion, but it’s the wrong sort of taste for Corneo’s mansion. Elena, maybe? Because she’s so young. I can see her spending a lot of money on it; maybe it’s something she gets with her very first paycheque in order to stamp her own personality on her company flat. When Reno and Rude see it they piss themselves laughing, and she gets the hump, but a year later she’s looking at it and thinking “The guys were right, it is grotesque. What the hell was I thinking?” It’s the only she owns that survives Meteorfall.
For some reason I think the croissant leather armchair is Heidegger’s.
EXCUSE ME EVERY CHAIR IN MY HOUSE LOOKS LIKE THIS
I HAVE NO OTHER FURNITURE
JUST THESE CHAIRS, IN EVERY ROOM, HUNDREDS OF THEM